The habits that you don't realize...

Last Saturday, I called my Little Brother's mom and explained that I couldn't continue to be her son's Big Sister. (I chucked the story idea that I mentioned in the previous post). I explained that it shouldn't be so difficult to get together. Since December, I've made plans to take him and have made it all the way to their house to discover that he was sick, or they had forgotten and had gone somewhere else, or guests and shown up unexpectedly and they had to go with them. And this wasn't just once or twice; we're talking more than five (but fewer than 10) times. That's a lot if you take into consideration that the town was snowed in for a cumulative total of almost three weeks in between Dec and the beginning of March; plus the various holidays and the family plans that go with that. So all in all, there was about eight attempts in two months that fell through. But that's not the point of this post. The point is that he and I were matched for more than two years. That's two years of every other week or every three weeks making plans to do something. Today I was thinking: oh, I should call Penny to see if Daevon wants to go .
I feel good that I ended it on good terms and I think that I prepared him for his next stage in life. He'll be ten in May. When I woke up last Saturday morning, I woke up with the feeling that God was saying: you've done your part, it's time to let him move on. I don't think I can provide what he needs any longer...as far as being a Big Sister. I don't think my next Little will be a Little Brother. It was really too difficult. I don't feel like we really connected. My next Little, in six months or so, will be a Little Sister.

A little late but...Mar 10th

I'm not quite dragging butt today but there is a definite tiredness related grogginess present. I did sleep straight through from about 9:30 last night til my alarm went off at 4:15. I got breakfast and almost completely dressed by 4:45 and realized that I could lay back down for another 30 minutes. So I did.
I wasn't able to sleep though. My brain kept going over the things that I need to discuss with my Big Bro/Big Sis Little Brother. More often than not, he's pouty and uncooperative when I go to pick him up. And this has been going on for almost a year now. It's very discouraging and makes me want to discontinue being his Big Sister. I think I'll write a story about me and him that conveys how I feel. I think he might better understand it if I do it that way rather than just having a sit down talk with him. He's 9 and a smart kid but it would probably be less accusatory. Although, if we did have a sit down I would use lots of "I" statements vs "when you" or "you don't." I think those statements, universally, put people on the defensive no matter their age.

Mar 9th

I was up at 4:15 this morning. I wanted to ensure that I had plenty of time to pack some snacks and lunch since I wouldn't be able to leave my workplace for 12 hours. I didn't sleep so well 'cause I was afraid I'd oversleep. I normally get up at 6:15 so those two hours earlier was a killer. I woke up tired. The day went fairly quick though so it wasn't too bad. Now, I'm watching Biggest Loser on hulu.com and playing Farmville on Facebook. Gonna hit the sack in a bit. Have a good evening. :)

Almost Spring

I must say that I've been in and out of a funk since December and am hoping that it dissipates with the going away of the cold weather and dreary days. Tomorrow and Wednesday I'll be working 12 hour shifts. I won't have time to do much else though I will do my best to attend the Financial Peace University that began in mid-Jan.
Got a letter from my brother today. I think we've both had intentions to write but it just hasn't happened. I'm sure I'll have some time tomorrow to do so...in between updating an Excel workbook with self-taught formulas.
Today was a pretty good day. I accidently went to my doctor's appt an hour early but they were able to see me at that time. I'm glad for that 'cause otherwise I would have spent too much time in the waiting room with no magazines and only CNN to pass the time.
After lunch, I had to do a 6S inspection with the Group CC. He talked with the folks that worked in the building that we visited and I did the inspection. Colonel's prerogative.
I finished up the second book of the Left Behind series during my bubblebath this evening. Can't wait to start the next one but it will have to wait until tomorrow evening to get a start on it.