Showing posts with label mish mash. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mish mash. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Disagreements...As A GrownUp.

Eventually, you realize that not everyone will agree with what you have to say or the way that you do things.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  You will also realize that some people have thinner skin than others.  That is their issue, not yours.  Many folks in today’s generation are part of the “everybody gets a ribbon” mindset and this is going to be a detriment when it comes time for them to survive life.  In “life” not everyone gets a ribbon just for participating.  Not everyone is going to be your friend either.  That shouldn’t even be a goal.  Do you know how much more convoluted your life would be if you tried to acquire or maintain everyone as a friend?  I don’t even want to imagine.

 If you look at friendships as a series of checkboxes of commonality, not a one will check every box but they should have at least one box checked.  I feel like you need to have at least one thing in common.  It’s the one thing that you can kind of fall back on when you’re exploring the personalities of each other.  My best friend and I, for example, we have a shared history and we each love her kids like crazy—obviously, her love for them is deeper and more enriched and more committed but there is still a common love for them.  The rest of our lives are very, very different.  BUT, it’s the shared history that makes it so that we can continue to grow and learn from each other.  Think of it like a “regroup” or a “recharge”—it’s the place that we come back to before venturing out again.

In some cases, where there might have been enough boxes checked, they become “unchecked” or, maybe, the wrong box becomes “checked” and you have to just let that person go.  An example for that:  I’d been friends with a woman for more than two decades.  Over the course of a couple months, a few years ago, we had a disagreement that resulted in her throwing everything that I had ever discussed with her—mistakes that I’d made, bad decisions, etc—in my face as a defense to me disagreeing with an action that she had taken.  This checked the “betrayal” box and I ceased communications with her.  I don’t take offense to someone calling me out on bad decisions—my best bud has done it many times when I’ve been a bonehead—but I do take offense if it’s done in a poor manner and, most especially, if it makes the person doing it a hypocrite.  Don’t use the same manner of my dumbassness to call me out.  You just look stupid and you totally lose the point that you’re trying to make.  Simplest example: Don’t say ice cream is bad while eating a vat of Ben & Jerry’s.

This logic can be applied to platonic relationships and intimate relationships.


The other aspect of it is that a total stranger can easily call out my dumbassness or pain-in-the-ass tendency and, provided they can engage in a grownup conversation, I will eventually come around to their way of thinking and concede their point.  I have gained at least two friends this way.  They gave me shit for something, stated the reasons why their point was (totally) valid, and I couldn’t help but agree.  When you’re a grownup, you realize that it’s okay to have disagreements.  Just make sure that your shit is straight before you call someone out on theirs.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

18 months and life to go.

Feeling a bit melancholy this evening.  Probably because I've got an opportunity to slow down a bit and not be in fast forward during my days off in order to get everything done before I have to be at work again in three days.  I had a glass of wine—my first in nearly a month—and, man! did it hit hard and fast.  I guess that’s what happens when you give up grains and sugar for a month.  One glass of Riesling and you’re done. 
Anyhow, I've noticed that there is one fella at work that I’m attracted to.  Not that I can do anything about that.  I try to stick to the policy of not shitting where you eat as I've gotten older—shat where I ate when I was younger and it bit me in the ass—and it’s done me well...so far.  Not to say I wouldn't consider dating this fella if he expressed an interest but why add MORE stress to my workplace.  My job as an expediter does that well enough.

Been occasionally having the pity party for myself due to being single but mainly because I just have no social life in general.    12 hour shifts suck.  3-2-2 schedules on 12 hour shifts suck.  Working with a bunch of folks that I can’t really become friends with sucks.  Working with 95% men sucks.  Only because they can’t really relate and I can’t really relate and the folks that are my age have a thousand kids or are married and nobody is available to just get together and just go see a movie or go shoot some pool or do whatever.  I don't want to talk about their kids.  I don’t want to talk about their exes.  I don’t want to talk about my cats.  I just want to get together, forget about work, and shoot the shit, while having a good time.  Rant, rant, rant. 

Okay, new topic.  Ever look at a really ugly person who is dating someone and think: how did they find someone to date them?  I mean, I know I've got my flaws but damn!  Is my personality that bad that nobody would want to be around me?  That it wouldn't compensate for whatever conventional beauty I don’t have?  You know...someone may not be gorgeous but you don’t notice because they’re super funny or super nice or whatever.  I mean, I’m totally human.  I have my flaws.  I’m not gorgeous but I’m not such a epic monster of a personality that nobody would want to date me.  Maybe it’s the work schedule.  Damn, I need to retire!  I need a regular schedule.  I need to not have rules about who I can and cannot date.  If I want to date, get nekid with the 25 year old down the way, why not?  18 more months.  They board for E-7 now.  I’m not making it.  My career has been too all over the place to make Master.  I think I can look forward to just retiring in 18 months.  I don’t think I’ll really have to make that big decision of “Do I stay or do I go?”  18 more months.

Time for another glass or Riesling.  Peace out, all.


Saturday, February 23, 2013

I hope you dance!

This year (meaning: since I turned 36 last May), I've been looking at my life and comparing and contrasting it to my mom's life during that same year in her life.  Especially as the time closes in on the milestone point that sent her life on a whole new trajectory.
When my mom was 36, she had two teenagers in the house--my brother was 17 and I was 13--and I know dealing with us was not easy.  My brother had always been the one to get in trouble and would lie constantly to try to cover up the trouble that he had got in.  I was busy dealing with Junior High and trying to not get in trouble like my brother but wanting to be like him just the same.
If you overlapped the years like they were two circles, this month would line up with a comparable year in her 36th year, it would be August of 1989--the summer between 7th and 8th grade for me and 11th and 12th for my bro.  Things hadn't even gotten really that difficult...yet.  In October of that year, it all changed.  I'm curious to see how April goes for me.  I'll still be deployed but that doesn't mean that my life can change as much as hers did.
Back to October 1989...Mom met someone and our lives would never be the same.  I can understand being unhappy with life's circumstances and wishing things would change but would you change them that much?  Or, more correctly, would you allow them to be changed?  Attractions between people can be ignored when you know that the disruption will be like a pebble in a pond and will affect more than just your life.  It's hard to see that, though, when you're in the grip of attraction.  The funny thing is: I never thought twice about it when Mom said that she and her friend, Norma, were going out with a couple other friends or that she had fallen asleep at someone's house.  I trusted her and took her words at face value.  I didn't actually find out that she was dating this new guy until a month or so later.  Even then, I didn't really believe it.
I'm not going to go into all the details that occured between then and now but I often wonder if she would have allowed all that change if she had seen a glimpse of where she's at now.  :(
Mom and I went through lots of ups and downs when I was a teenager, with the biggest one being when I got pregnant at 17.  That was probably the lowest valley in our relationship but I'm glad that, today, we are in the hills.  We're friends and I know that I can share pretty much anything with her; discuss any topic; ask any question and get a candid yet caring response from her.
We even have songs for each other.
Hers for me:
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)


And mine for her:
Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

[Chorus]
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

[Chorus]

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings,
Cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
So high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

Love you Mom!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Almost Spring

I must say that I've been in and out of a funk since December and am hoping that it dissipates with the going away of the cold weather and dreary days. Tomorrow and Wednesday I'll be working 12 hour shifts. I won't have time to do much else though I will do my best to attend the Financial Peace University that began in mid-Jan.
Got a letter from my brother today. I think we've both had intentions to write but it just hasn't happened. I'm sure I'll have some time tomorrow to do so...in between updating an Excel workbook with self-taught formulas.
Today was a pretty good day. I accidently went to my doctor's appt an hour early but they were able to see me at that time. I'm glad for that 'cause otherwise I would have spent too much time in the waiting room with no magazines and only CNN to pass the time.
After lunch, I had to do a 6S inspection with the Group CC. He talked with the folks that worked in the building that we visited and I did the inspection. Colonel's prerogative.
I finished up the second book of the Left Behind series during my bubblebath this evening. Can't wait to start the next one but it will have to wait until tomorrow evening to get a start on it.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry After Christmas!

Okay, this is where I get all "Woe, is me" right? I worked for most of the week leading up to Xmas and then had that day off. I would much rather have worked; since I wasn't going anywhere. This is the "Woe, is me" part. See, nobody invited me over to share Christmas dinner. Needless to say, I felt very left out and pretty alone. My family all lives on the west coast so I couldn't just pop in and see them. :( I already told my dad that I'll be in Reno next year just like I normally do. I just didn't have the vacation time to go anywhere. I had already used it all up during my vacation in September.
The good news is that I had a sexy dream last night. I will spare you the details...this is not the venue for that kind of sharing...but I'm glad I had the dream. It's been a long time since I had a dream that didn't have to do with work or mundane stuff...haven't had a date in MONTHS!!
As for work (at the mall), I was scheduled every day this week and last weekend but Sat, Sun, and Mon didn't happen. All that snow that fell Friday night til the wee hours of Sunday morning prevented me from going anywhere on those days. I did work Xmas Eve. Why do folks get so irritated when they can't find what they're looking for, when it's an hour before closing time on Christmas Eve. I don't get it. And some of them were PISSED! Get over it folks. The world will continue to turn if the Vicky's Secret bag ISN'T under the tree.
I took myself to go see the The Blind Side with Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. Awesome movie!! I highly recommend it. It's based on a true story.
Scooting off to bed now. Good night.