Saturday, December 3, 2016

Tuesdays at Forty: Love Just Happened So Easily This Time

Our paths first crossed virtually.  We met online more than a year ago and messaged for months before moving on to texting.  We met in person about six months ago.  Just breakfast at a local diner.  There were no expectations.  We were just looking to meet/make a new friend.  A few weeks later, we had a late lunch/early dinner.  Texting in between the whole time.
"How's work?"  "Busy with some knuckleheads."
"What are you doing this weekend?"  "Headed out to NJ for a tournament.  You?"  "Working at the mall and then hanging with some friends."

Just everyday innocuous stuff.  Then we started seeing each other more often.  And he would say or do  stuff that was totally disarming: "You said you liked that movie so I brought you this one 'cause I think you'll like it."  Or "What do you want me to bring for drinks?" "I like X, Y, and Z." And he'd bring something of each of X, Y, and Z.  Now, I know this seems like normal, courteous stuff but the fellas that I've dated just don't do this.  They're always looking out for number one: themselves.  And they'll say stuff that makes you wonder what sort of game they're playing.  It's like Stratego or Chess in the dating world nowadays.

This man doesn't play mental all.  It's wonderful.  It's refreshing.  I don't have to wonder how he feels about me.  I don't have to wonder what he's doing when he's not with me.  I don't have to wonder if he's just in it for one thing and one thing only.  And it was so easy to just fall in love with that: his courtesy, his kindness, the fact that he digs me (in all venues lol), his sexiness, his sensuality, his intelligence.  And on and on and on.

I'd forgotten how easy it was to really love someone.  To know that if you saw something that made you think of them and you then showed them that thing, people who care about you aren't going to make fun of you or express disdain or indifference.  They'll show that they appreciate that you were thinking of them.

And they'll tell you that they'll miss you if you guys end up going your separate ways for whatever reason.  Because they actually give a shit about you.

It's wonderful to love someone and not have to be on guard mentally, emotionally, physically.  To just love them and know that they have love for you.

I'm totally sunk and it's wonderful and delicious and refreshing.  And 12 years is a long time to have not had it.

More please.

**It's been a day or so since I wrote this but I wanted to add that I'd also forgotten how *easy* it is to love someone when you don't have to be on your guard.  He's not perfect; nor am I; but to love what I've seen and heard and experienced with this man just requires no effort.  When a person isn't afraid of your emotions and can take them in stride, even if he's not on the same page, is what I'm digging the most.  I'm able to just be and that is what keeps me drawn to him.