Last month brought about the close of a couple things: The first year in my forties and my first year out of retirement. I've mentioned (and written) on more than one occasion about the stress that I encountered during the latter half of 2016. Between adjusting to a new income and having a Jeep that decided to need all kinds of repairs, it was a time to help me appreciate the first half of 2017, where there's been much less stress caused my money (or the lack thereof).
Instead, my social life decided to give me the opportunity to experience no lack of emotions. Between the fella in New Mexico and the guy in Florida, I feel like my heart and my mind have been brought back to life. I've allowed myself to feel again and I haven't restrained the emotions that have come to me. It hasn't always been easy and I've tested the patience of those whom I love but I'm thankful for the experiences.
I did have to take a step back from each of them and that's been a little difficult. Yet, I consider it growth that I was able to realize that I needed to take such a step. I was investing a serious amount of energy into maintaining the relationships that I have with them and it was, honestly, consuming so much of my time. It wasn't any demand that they put on me. There are things that I want from a relationship that they weren't able to give me, at the current time. Maybe some time in the future but not right now.
So, instead, I refocus on me. I've spent the last year reacting to the things that were happening in my life: retirement, the Jeep, school; and now I have the time--two months of summer break is awesome!--to take a look at where I want to direct my focus. It helps that I'm also getting my Disability payments from the VA and I'm able to stress less about how I'm going to pay for things that come up in life.
On with life!