Sunday, January 4, 2009

"Perpetual" people frustrate me!

I will never understand why people perpetuate their own crises. For example: my aunt. The woman tells me that she's down to her last $2 and then, not a week later, I get an Xmas card from her with $40 in it. There's no point in me saying anything other than "Thank you" so I do and then put the money in my wallet. Or she'll make some statement about she doesn't know what she'll do if the house sells (my uncle, her brother, has POA of my deceased grandma's house) and, in the next sentence she'll ask me to look up prices of Sony HD televisions.
There's another person, whom shall remain nameless but not unknown, she constantly complains about how little food she has to feed her children and how she had to go without dinner but, very soon, she's going to get her kids a pet for Xmas. Don't tell me that you bought and fed multiple kids the equivalent of ONE Happy Meal and now you're gonna add a pet to the mix and expect me to turn a blind eye. I have this woman's address, I'm half tempted to call CPS just based on what this woman has personally disclosed about her home life. It's the Mandatory Reporter in me just dying to smack this woman with some common sense!!


Amiyrah said...

lol! actually, all of them got their own happy meal....which makes it even worse. I recently did a wonderful thing for my cousin by basically giving her half of my stockpile. She had been going to me Aunt and Grandfather telling them that she was broke and couldn't even feed her son. Boy did I have egg on my face when she showed up in a 2000 something Jeep Grand Cherokee, wearing new sneakers and talking to her mother on a phone that just came out a few months ago. I pulled out 9 bags of stuff from my '94 honda, had to basically beg for a thank you from her, and went on my way. The "person who will remain nameless" pulled the wool over my eyes like that a few months ago. Just like the "reporter" in you wants to call CPS, the "matron" in me wants to call social services. Something is not all there with "nameless." Also, she's planning to have yet another child. Very scary....

Lisa B. said...

another child? OMG! that's just wrong!

This same nameless person cried about ALL her coupons being thrown away once. I felt sorry for her and had a bunch in an envelope ready to mail to her, when she then posted she was not going to dig through the "icky" trash to retrieve a BINDER of coupons. I smelled something rotten right then and Needless to say the coupons went to someone else.

Sarah said...

Sorry, I am a girl....I am just curious as to who you guys are talking about, although I know of course that you cant say ;)

Nidena, I completely agree with you though. My sister & her husband have 4 kids (she is 22, he is 31, only one kid is hers). He has no job (fired for stealing money to snort up his nose). They just got a new dog for him a a "present" because he has been clean for a month now....we will see how long that lasts though. And now they are having another kid!

I took my sister shopping to show her how the CVS game works. BIL just griped about having to "babysit." Ughghgh, I hate that when guys say they are babysitting their own kids!

Wait...I wonder if that was my sister you guys are talking about ;)

cheapdate said...

I too saw these posts, the stories just didn't sound right. This person was also listed as a "trader in training" on another board,with a lot of coupons to trade shortly after all her coupons were thrown away

Amiyrah said...

cheapdate, are you serious?! I am livid right now >:o(

I should have known she was lying about those coupons. Oh well, as my grandmother used to say "God doesn't like ugly." Maybe that's why they are still "struggling." When you take advantage of the good hearts of others, you take your own blessings away. Such a shame...

bugsi033 said...

Gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrr! "Nameless" makes me nuts. When she posts, I just feel like I'm listening to Charlie Brown's school teacher......remember........"wah, wah, wah, wah". When she mentioned wanting another kid...I wanted to come unglued on her, but when I got on her about the fact the her husband was only working 3 days a week & she wasn't working at all and he either needed a second job or she needed to get one, it didn't go over well with everyone. So, I felt kinda bad...................okay only for like 20 seconds! I purchased her coupons from The Coupon Clippers to help her with baby butt wipes & she later said she let a bunch of coupons expire cause "she didn't feel like shopping". These coupons would've gotten her butt wipes for like .28 cents a package. A few weeks later she was whinning (again) about having to come up with money for them. Oh, I could go on & on.
There's a part of me that wants to be a better person & try to influence her with good thoughts & positive encouragement, but most of the time, I just wanna head-butt her.

nidena said...

I must admit that I took a gander at her blog. I'm thinking that she has some sort of mental illness or something. Something just isn't right. *scratching head over here* I want to call it the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" but, on the other hand, what if she truly is "off?"

Martivir said...

I admit that Nameless gives me the twitchies. I don;t exchange because I'm forgetful but a few times I thought about sending her some. But I could just never wrap my head around what was said. I feel really bad for her kids. My offer to help find lost money was for everyone but I kind of really hoped she'd take me up on it. Now I'm glad she didn't. Who knows what would have happened if I found something. Would she be back to the usual or would she put it to good use and try to better things? I mean you can't look at just money when it comes to having kids but it does play a part in it.

And my MIL is a perpetual person. Drives me batty. If it's not one thing it's another. I'm just glad it's getting better because no one has the patience for her anymore.

Sarah said...

I went back & read....up to speed now :)

nidena said...

After the disclosure today, there better not be anymore statements of: there's no food in the house. Grrrr!!!

Jennifer C. said...

I'm sorry we didn't get to meet while you were in Reno. I think we would get along famously! Maybe next time.

Jenny said...

LOL! I was wondering how long it would take to put all pieces together and realize that her stories weren't lining up. Started from "only crackers for food" and finished with stuffed pantry. Interesting.

Silli Jilli's Life said...

Ya know what, in the months that I have been using coupons and getting items I have built up a really good stock pile. I have probably 20 lbs of pasta. I have a lot of canned veggies, broth and soup. Still about 6-8 bags of frozen veggies. 10 boxes of potatoes and stove top. Let's what else? Oh lots of baking items, ya know, spices and such? Let's see else have I stocked up on these past few months? Oh toilet paper, laundry soap. Cleaning supplies. I was able to get lots from Kmart doubling.
Oh and my husband works 3 nights a week and that is full time position. He works 3 12 hours shifts. And yes he did get a 2nd part time job working 1 day at a fast food place so that we can pay off our debt.
And if we wanna get our kids a $3 "happy meal" I think that we can do that.
Did any of you "ladies" ever stop to think we are broke because we are paying every bill first before food and other items that people, just like you use on a daily/weekly basis? No I don't think you did. Instead you all think you just better. Yeah you have my address. If you think calling CPS on someone who's home you have NEVER been in seems like the "right thing" to do, then do it!!!
If any of you had read and actually looked at the words you would know that I said another baby AFTER debt was paid off.
None of you have been to my home. None of you have even been to this town, but yet you judge?
And about digging through the trash....I'm not even sure that the oragnizers were put in that bag..but really what good would they have been if they were covered in "yuck"?
I can not possibly use every coupon that comes from the paper or what others have sent me. If my Walmart carries something then it's something that has been around for a long while, but again have you been here?
Until you meet me and spend time with me and in my home and in my can NOT make such a judgement!!!!! But carry on with your selves....

nidena said...

I would rather not spend time with someone who can't keep their stories straight, who opts to spend their last $20 on a meal that will last only that one meal even though they could go to the store and buy a few days' worth of food for the same amount--this at a time when "hubby" did not have a second job and, as a matter of fact, it was stated that his current job wasn't providing enough hours to really make it through. BTW, I know plenty of folks who would choose feeeding their children over paying a damn credit card or other. Bills and their due dates are negotiable. Hunger in a child's belly is not. Yeah, that you've built up a stockpile. Maybe now you'll quit bitching that there is no food in the house. And, one other thing, it is perfectly acceptable for us to judge you in the negative based on the crap that you write in the message board. It is no different than saying the board is "wonderful" and that the ladies that we all talk to are "super." How is that statement any more valid (and less judgemental) than what we've said here IN MY PERSONAL BLOG?
Jill, you are a hypocrite! And, based on what you've disclosed about yourself, you're fat, ugly, and have hard to fit boobs. We can only go off of what we read, darlin'.

Jenny said...

Take a moment and reread all posts. Look how many posters from GB have caught up on your "soap stories",so don't you think that it's should be a turning point for you? Stop trying to make others feel bad for you by creating/telling stories that don't add up with other stuff you said before. While I understand that you want to draw attention to yourself for whatever reason, this is however not a way to do this. If you want to be a memeber on the GB then share your hound trips, exchange coupons and stop lying. You'll only keep getting caught in the web of your own lies sooner or later.

Meg said...

I'm amazed at the comments I read here. Maybe I am naive, but I didn't get the same feeling from her posts. I never saw anything that didn't add up.

What I do see (from the board and from her blog) is someone who is probably clinically depressed. That would explain why, with her last $20, she took her kids to McDonald's. It's an emotional response, not a rational one.

I would venture to guess that most of you posters have never been in her situation, which is truly dire straits and borderline poverty. Most of us have loads of experience with being broke, which is a completely different situation.

I feel like a lot of you need to get your stories straight and stop mixing up postings. When her coupons were thrown out, she clearly stated that they were in envelopes and other types of small organizers. A much later post referred to a binder. I happen to know that this binder was a gift from another hound that was given about a month after the coupons were thrown out.

Also, did you ever consider that she may have had coupons to trade soon after the "incident" because of your generosity? I don't know the whole story here, but that could be a possibility.

I would really like to know where the stories didn't line up, because I've been reading every page since June or July and I've never gotten the same feelings that you ladies are reporting. I find that her posts are often more relevant than many, especially pages and pages about underwear, kids going off to college and t.v. shows that most people don't waste their time on.

I understand that some may be upset because they went out of their way to send coupons that didn't get used, but where is it written that they must get used? Just like any gift, once it is sent, you no longer have any say in what happens after that. It would be different if she never intended to use them, but do you really think that was the case?

Amiyrah, I would hope that you would never send money or a gift card to anyone you don't personally know. That would be extremely naive and unwise. In this situation, it wouldn't have helped. What has helped is the hounding advice that you have all given her. You have shown her how to cut her grocery bill and stock her pantry. That has done more for her than sending a gift card would have done.

I'm not trying to get in on the bashing here, just trying to offer another perspective.

bugsi033 said...

Let me remind everyone that we all have freedom of speech. The person who has this blog has the right to say how she feels. We have the freedom to comment on what we read. At no time did we mention the name of whom we were talking about. The nameless person chose to come on & make a statement. I don't like feeling how I do about her. But honestly, it just got old. She was whinning constantly about not having enough money. She chose to tell us she did not work & her husband only worked 3 days a week (which I understand in his job 3 - 12 hour shifts are full-time). She said she could not work because of the cost of child care. Well, I finally spoke up to her about it because of the non-stop whinning about "poor me". We all make choices. My mom would have loved to be a stay at home mom. Instead she went to work at a full-time job during the day, a part-time job 3 days a week & sold products for a home party business at least once a week. We had very little. I never once heard my mom complain. We felt sorry for this person for quite a while, we offered advice, sent her coupons, etc. But when you send coupons you purchased for someone who is having a tough time, so they could purchase an item they really needed for their baby for very little change & then you read their comment that they didn't use the coupons in time because they "just didn't feel like shopping", well it's frustrating and I should be allowed to voice that just as she voices about how her life stinks most of the time. After a while, you just wanna say, grow up, get off your butt & get a job and fix it or quit whinning.

I've been poor. Not just broke, but poor. It stinks. But I worked 2 jobs (1 full-time, 1 part-time) while going to college (which I paid for as I went) at night and keeping a house to make my life better. And guess was's still hard. But I wanted a different kind of life. I would love to not work as well, but if I want to pay bills & buy food, I must work. You have to want to help yourself.

And I'm sorry, but if you are to the point where have very little money to feed your family after bills, then to mention wanting another baby or adopting a kitten just sounds insane to me.

And if you go onto a message board & spill your guts about all this you are bound to get some feedback. Some good.....some bad.

I'd love to tell you to go back & re-read some of the posts we've mentioned. But it appears they have all been deleted.

Amiyrah said...

Well, Meg(thrift Meg, I'm guessing?), thank you for the "input" on the gift card. I guess you don't feel the comradary that we do on the boards, because sending help, in the form of coupons(which is money) or gift cards is the same to me. She seemed in need at the time, and claimed Walmart wasn't as coupon friendly as other stores, so instead of coupon "money", I was going to send gift card "money." But that's me, I guess. Naive, unwise, and Christian. Helping those in need? So silly. I should stop doing "karma boxes" and giving to church too. I have no idea where that stuff is actually going. Same with the gift card giveaways on my blog. Very silly, indeed. But thanks for defending Jill. Now I'll go back and see exactly where the stories don't add up, since I may be mistaken.

And on a side note: I'm a product of a family that started off in poverty, food stamps and depression runs in my family. If this was the case with Jill, I would definitely feel for her, and know what she was going through. Meg, this is not the case. Plus, she's said numerous times that she is not depressed, so we should believe that, right?

Nidena, sorry for posting this on here, but since Meg singled me out on the post, I figured I should thank her for her advice personally.

Virginia Mom said...

I think that our "poster of interest" is suffering from loneliness and depression....I think sometimes she posts just to have someone respond and give her another person to talk to. I agree that not all her stories have meshed and that some of her decisions have not been the wisest, but so be it. I think that the main feeling over at the GC is that we all try to help and support each other - and I have found that if there is a post I do not agree with or I feel the poster is being too aggressive in presenting their opinion, I just skip that entry and keep on going. Everyone brings something to the table- and we aren't going to agree all the time.

M. said...

whooooa whooooa wow this is ThriftyMeg and that Meg wasn't me. I have no idea how i am getting pulled into this!!!!

Amiyrah said...

sorry, thrift Meg! You're the only Meg I know on the board, so I thought it was you. Didn't mean to drag you into it.

Pubbler said...

Well, I felt like a fool. Jill was complaining about not having money to give her child a gift. Being the type of person that I am, I sent her $12 as a gift for her son's birthday. i told her not to mention it, cause I don't like the world to know when I do a good deed. But shortly after, I read that she took her kids to McD for dinner because it was late & they were hungry. That definitely sent up red flags for me. This woman is a SAHM, but she cant cook for her kids? Complains about money, but gets carry out for dinner. Her DH got a 2nd job, but she was worried he might be working too many hours. We are financially independent, yet we think twice about getting fast food and we are always looking for ways to save on things. My DH sometimes work until midnite, so he can provide for his family. I have absolutely no sympathy for this woman. She's the kind of person that keeps saying they want to get ahead, but they don't want to do anything to better their situation. I've also seen her list the stuff she buys at store. Pop & other junk, yet she complains about not having anything to eat. This person sounds like a game player to me. I'm sorry that I ever thought of helping her.

centralillinoisian said...

Wow, I am really dense. I read this blog when you wrote it but had no idea about whom you were referring. I probably would have missed it entirely if ThriftyMeg had not made a reference on the Pound.

If I may put in my two cents to Meg (not ThriftyMeg), I think it is admirable for Amiyrah to send out things to people. Whether it be gift cards, gifts, coupons, or money, that is the spirit of giving. I think if more people had the spirit of giving instead of the greed of taking, we would live in a much better world.

{P.S. I don't know how many of you read my blog (and if you don't that is okay :) ) and read my posts versus skimming over them, but if I sound depressed or seem to be having problems, do tell me. I would be appreciative to have feedback that does not come from my family who is of couse as mixed up in all of my deal as I am.}

LisaB said...

MEG: you stated "I would really like to know where the stories didn't line up, because I've been reading every page since June or July and I've never gotten the same feelings that you ladies are reporting."

I'll tell you where they all are, DELETED! Go through and see how many posts have been deleted because people have confronted her. Please dont be so naive yourself.

M. said...

it's ok! :) I just didn't want anyone to be mad at me for the message
(i'll delete my post on the grocery board since you guys saw it wasn't me :) )

Amiyrah said...


in no way do you sound depressed on your blog. I acutally love reading your posts because you are doing the best you can in your situation, and it always seems to me that your are taking a positive turn to everything. You're a fighter and a giver. No depression there!

hitenney said...

Hi Nidena - Just wanted to say "perpetual people" (great description!) get me down, too. Every solution you can think of to help them with today's problem is met with: "Oh, no, that won't work because..." or "Oh, we could never do that..." Makes you want to give up on helping them with their problems, so most of us eventually do. That said, Amiyrah & Pubbler - your efforts to go out of your way with time and/or money and/or donations are just "stars in your crown" - good reflections on you! And I say thank you for your efforts to make the world a better place.
Aloha, Tenney

Virginia Mom said...

Well, that explains where all the deletes have appeared from on the board. I guess if you erase it, then it never happened. I'm sorry really decent people got "taken" with this situation. I wondered many times why they didn't qualify for food stamps, WIC or some form of aid if they were in such dire straits. My family is trying to work out of debt like many others- and your credit rating is an important financial factor- but our children's needs come first- even if it meant our credit had to suffer for awhile.

LisaB said...

I find it interesting how she deleted all her previous posts once CPS was mentioned.

She has made her bed and she must lie in it. I'm just glad that everyone has been forwarned, and it's now their choice if they continue to help someone who will not help themselves.

It will always be a roller coaster ride for her and her family due to lack of motivation. One day (1/12/09) she is talking about paying off 5k in debt on another msn money thread and here we are 4 days later and she is once again destitute, and wanting everyone to feel sorry for her again.

She asked for suggestions many times, all suggestions were "Cant happen" or "That wont work".

She claims her husband works full time, THREE days a week, 12 hour days. That leaves FOUR days a week. SHE could get a job for THREE days a week, (and I know this is probably unheard of for her, from what she says about her husband) but he could have taken care of HIS kids for her three days of work and then they both could have been off for one day. MANY families have had to work this kind of schedule because they could not afford day care, AND they wanted to live a better life without depending upon others. OR he could have stepped up to the plate and gotten another "full" time job for the other three days.

You have to do what you have to do to provide for your children. It was not THEIR choice to be in the situation they are in, therefore I feel her and her husband should do more for themselves.

In the last two weeks, my husband has worked several days from 6am to 7:30 pm and two nights it was after 9pm before he came home. He has had ONE day off in the last two weeks and that was a week ago this past Saturday. He even had to work New Years day.

In today's economy.... YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO to survive on your own two feet and taking advantage of other people is not acceptable.

Many people felt guilty about being able to be a good steward for their family when she sat there being so "down on her luck". Many cried over her kids and their situation and were not able to sleep after reading the Grocery Challenge thread where she preyed.

My mother taught me not to be anyone's victim and I refuse to worry about her children any longer. I (or anyone else) can not save all the children in the world born to such parents.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness. ive missed some drama while I was away from the board. Non the less. I havent read all these posts from the person but I do know a girl who used to be a close friend who acts like this. She cant pay her house payments, insurance or car payments for months at a time but she can buy up tickets for NEXT YEARS basketball championships, go to concerts, amusement parks, to clubs every weekend. While I babysat for her I had to buy formula and diapers bc both time she FORGOT?!? that she was out of both. Its sad for the children

frugalsuz said...

Wow, I'm just catching up here and all I have to say is wow. I thought I was the only one who would read those posts and go, ugh, what now? I always felt she needed the attention more than anything. Its sad really.