Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Cancer. How bad? And now what?

I spoke to my dad yesterday.  He let me know that my mom had sent me a letter and, although he wanted to wait until I had received it, he thought that I should know that she will be seeing an oncologist sometime soon, in order to make a diagnosis on the lump on her neck.  Now, this lump...I saw it last year when we were on vacation.  She brushed it off and I didn't press her about it.  It's not like a marble under the skin or anything.  It's more like a large sausage shaped (think bratwurst size) "thing" is under her skin.  Last year, it was probably 1/2 to a full inch in diameter (if it were a real tube) and about two inches long.  I don't know how to really describe it.  I just know that a year ago it was big enough that when she turned her head, there was little indentation where her jawline should have been.
And I can't just pick up the phone to talk to anyone.
So, now, I wait...for the letter...for a better explanation of what the hell is going on...for the timeframe of just how much longer she'll be here.
I love you, Mom.
Bette Midler--The Wind Beneath My Wings

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