The long and the short of it is that my former best friend's husband is an alcoholic and when I expressed concern, I was accused of judging them in their home. I can't deny that. There's too much of a parallel between how much and often her husband drinks with that of my mom. She died in 2018, after fighting poor health for the six years following her throat cancer diagnosis. Which, in a sad twist, is something that the husband's father had. Thankfully, he survived. The husband's mother was also an alcoholic. So, all the things that her husband's parents and my mom went through are very much possibilities for her husband. It was my mistake to think that 27 years of friendship afforded me the privilege to say anything to that effect.
The other aspect of my judging them was witnessing the verbal abuse that my former friend subjected her husband to. And, no, it has nothing to do with marriage. It has to do with people. You just don't scream at someone that they're "...a fucking idiot!" on the regular. And you don't do it in front of the kids you share.
I said none of these things to anyone else. I said them to her. That was the judgement that I did.
Really, it's not that different from when I told another friend that it's probably not good for her to have so many different men over while she had a teenager in the house.
Hello! I'm Nichole and, if we've been friends for 20+ years, I will feel like I can express concern about the bad habits I feel you're setting. On the flip side, I welcome the feedback from you. Even if I don't like it, I'll listen.
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