I've Been Incomplete When Doing Bra Fittings.

For the past nine years, I've been doing my bra fittings very much like what is described in this post: To Ensure A Bra Fits and, come to find out (due to the recent discovery of recent of new information), I've been incomplete and fairly inaccurate in my tallies.  How incomplete?  Well, I had sized myself at a 36DDD before I lost 20lbs and, since then, at a 34DDD/36DD..  I was a bit wrong.  Three cups wrong.  I'm actually a 36H.  I will share the the information that I found, as well as a link to how I calculated my size in a post later this week.  In it, I will also share the size that I thought I was by showing you (unknowingly) ill fitting bras that I have bought in the past few months at VS and the bras that I just tried on last night in the size that actually fits correctly.
I'm headed to sleep now but please check back later this week for that next post.  It'll be lengthy and informative.

Having My New Roommate is Good for Me

I am confrontational.  I posture.  I can be combative.  None are things that I like about myself and all are things that I’m going to be working on lessening as character traits.  To be able to *do* those things is not a bad characteristic but when they’ve become a large part of my personality, that’s not good. 

I had an inkling that they were there but it took the observation of my roommate to bring them to my attention.  Her description: “You stand up with the guys.  You interact with all guys the way that you do the guys at your work.”  And she’s right.  I developed a machismo, of sorts.  Just as boys and men will inherently engage in a “who’s the got the biggest…” challenge, so do I.  And I, in all my righteousness, would win.  Cause I’m the biggest and the baddest.  The toughest.  I show no vulnerability but I sure as hell show weakness by displaying such a high level of “tough as nails” when I don’t need to.

I’m going to blame the development of it on the male dominated career that I’ve been a part of for nearly two decades.  I can’t let it continue though.  Thankfully, there’s only 11 months of that career left.  I can, then, truly let go of a good portion of the armor that I applied, link by link, during my time working with too much testosterone.  I didn’t choose this career, not really.  It’s hard to make an educated decision, at 20, about what field to choose when the job description is so glowing.  All I know: If you don’t like to get a mechanical kind of dirty do NOT choose a 2A career field in the Air Force.

So…back to the character traits…You know how Alpha males tend to put each other down as a show of force?  Yep, I do that.  You know how Alpha males tend to try to make the not-Alpha males feel or look stupid?  Yep, I do that.  I don’t call them stupid but I sure as hell ask a lot of loaded questions.  That can’t be a good way to teach someone; to train them to be better at their jobs.  I *know* there’s a better way and I’m going to work on finding and using it.

Thank you, roomie, for holding up that “mirror”.  I appreciate it more than you know.

The end of May 2015

I have to say: I was quite surprised to see that the step that I took towards Financial Fitness helped me in the Physical Fitness department, sort of.  By taking my credit card out of my wallet, and having already spent all my grocery money and all the money allocated to “Miscellaneous”, I didn’t have the funds available to just “stop by the Shopette” on the way home from work which meant that I couldn’t succumb to the lure of Haagen Daas chocolate ice cream or a bottle of moscato.  You definitely think a little differently when it’s just not there.  I have $100.91 in my checking account and $100 of it is slated for a bill that will get paid on the same day that my next paycheck hits.  This will enable me to get to that “Zero Dollar Budget” on the day that it resets for the next round.  The $.91 will just get carried over and plugged into the budget for the next pay period.

On a slightly different note, I didn’t unplug from Facebook.  As a nightshifter, I spend my nights off going to the gym, going to the grocery store, and…and…and, really, nothing else.  NOTHING is open in the wee hours, especially on week nights.  Plus, even if I did want to dive into some home improvement project, I don’t think my roommate would appreciate the noise at 3am.  So, I’m going to allow myself the indulgence but my rotation back to dayshift will be quite different.  Though, knowing that I’ll be putting in availability for a higher number of hours at the part time might derail any of those home improvement projects but, goodness knows, I will have ample time very, very soon.  Like, in 339 days.

Also contributing to my Financial Fitness is ebay.  I purged my wardrobe of a few gently used items and listed them for dirt cheap.  They’re still quite good but, being that they don’t fit, it’s not doing me any good by having them in my drawers or closet.  I have tons more to list on ebay.  It’s all piled in the room that is my “office”.  Eventually, I will get it listed or donate it to Goodwill.  In the meantime, I watch the pennies increase on the items that have bids on ebay.  Ten items currently listed; three have already ended and sold; seven remain—all with bids that end in the next day or so.  It’s a good way to end the month.

The Last Year in This Phase of My Life

I spent the last five days in Ventnor.  It was intended to be my annual birthday vacation and it was supposed to be as fun as previous years.  It wasn’t.  It was boring.  There wasn’t anything that I did there that I couldn’t have done at home.  Granted, there is a boardwalk that gives me a straight down and back or up and back route to walk but, again, boring.  I’d much rather walk loops around my neighborhood.  The other reason that it was boring: well, there wasn’t anything to really do besides shop and I don’t *need* anything.  Buying things just adds to the stress of my upcoming retirement so I limited myself to a few things that I thought would be useful additions: three pairs of pants and a necklace/earring/bracelet set.  And coffee.  Lots of coffee.  From Starbucks.

This Sunday is my birthday.  #39.  The last year of my 30s.  Who’da thunk?  While I was in Ventnor, I couldn’t help but reflect on quite a few of those years; specifically, the ones that I’ve spent in the military and what I’ve done in that time.  Did I make a mark?  I think so.  Did I do something that I loved and had a passion for?  Absolutely not.  Can I use this last year—345 calendar days, but who’s counting—to help someone else not spend 20 years doing something that they don’t like?  I know I can.  On the flip side, I *have* spent the past nine years doing something that I really enjoy: helping customers find the right fit at Victoria’s Secret.  You can really tell if you have a passion for something when damn near every conversation can get turned to that subject.  I LOVE helping customers find what fits them.  I really don’t care if it’s a VS item.  I prefer that it be ‘cause it helps me keep my job but I’d rather see them in a style that fits perfect rather than one that fits “pretty well.”

Because it is my last year of my 30s and my last year in the military, I’m using these milestones to track things a little differently.  I want to focus on three things: Mental Fitness,  Financial Fitness, and Physical Fitness.  I know, it doesn’t sound all that different that what I’ve been doing all along but herein lies the difference: If it doesn’t help the one, it better help the other.  No more spending idle time on facebook.  I want to make a difference in the lives of those who know me.  I want to deepen the friendships that I already have and cultivate them into relationships that really matter.

My first step in the Financial Fitness:  I removed my credit card from my wallet.  This is big for me.  I always had it there as a safety net so I never really had to comply wholly with my budget.  Now, I will be forced to.  No more “covering the difference with my credit card.”  I already have an emergency fund in place--$1000—for anything that might actually constitute an emergency.  Those are so rare though.  Most things can be planned and budgeted for; and that’s my goal.

For my Physical Fitness: I will just be continuing on the track that I began last year when I quit grains and sugars.  I lost 20lbs between September 2014 and March 2015 but hit a plateau.  Sugar crept back in so I’m, again, making a concentrated effort to eliminate it.  I will also continue hitting the gym on my nights/days off but I plan to work out a specific, goal oriented plan with a trainer friend of mine.  And it won’t be a one-month plan but a one-year plan.  I want to map out where I plan to be by the time I’m 40.

I will provide updates and progress along the way in hopes that I’m able to inspire one other person to do something similar.  I know I’ve been inspired by many friends’ blogs.  I hope I can do the same.

Veteran's Day 2014

  Yesterday was Veteran's Day.  My facebook feed was showing all kinds of "Support Our Troops" memes and messages and it got me to thinking: "I wonder how many Americans don't know someone who has served."  Almost a reverse of six degrees of separation.  Obviously, everyone who knows me, knows someone who is in the military.  I'm friends with a lot of current and former servicemembers so I know their friends know someone who has served.  But, when you get down to the numbers, we are really a very small population.
  I looked up some of the numbers for military personnel.  There are just over 1 million serving in Guard, Reserve, and Active Duty for all services.  There are 19.6 million veterans (i.e. no longer serving); 9.3 million of which are age 65 or older; and 1.6 million (of the 19.6M) are female.  The population of the United States is more than 316 million.  At least according to the last census.  That probably doesn't count all the folks that have entered the US in the past four years so let's make that an even 320 million.  So that means that less than half a percent of the United States population is serving its country.  Half a percent.  Not 5.0%. 0.5%...less than that.  And that nearly 20 million?  Sounds like a lot, doesn't it?  It equates to 6% of the country's population.  Not even 10% of this country knows what it means to directly serve and "write the blank check."
  Let's do some comparing now.  In 1945, somewhere between 12 and 16 million served in the United States military.  Now, you can say that they had to but a vast majority felt compelled to serve.  Do you know what the country's population was in 1945?  I had to look it up (like all the other numbers here).  140 million.  Which means that anywhere from 8.5% to 11.4% served their country and families were bigger then so the ripple effect was that much larger.
  The real unfortunate thing is that I can't, in good conscience, recommend someone join right now.  I worry for where this country is going and for the use that the members of the United States military are being put to.
  Learn a trade.  Take up carpentry or become an auto mechanic.  At least you'll have better control over your future.

18 months and life to go.

Feeling a bit melancholy this evening.  Probably because I've got an opportunity to slow down a bit and not be in fast forward during my days off in order to get everything done before I have to be at work again in three days.  I had a glass of wine—my first in nearly a month—and, man! did it hit hard and fast.  I guess that’s what happens when you give up grains and sugar for a month.  One glass of Riesling and you’re done. 

Anyhow, I've noticed that there is one fella at work that I’m attracted to.  Not that I can do anything about that.  I try to stick to the policy of not shitting where you eat as I've gotten older—shat where I ate when I was younger and it bit me in the ass—and it’s done me well...so far.  Not to say I wouldn't consider dating this fella if he expressed an interest but why add MORE stress to my workplace.  My job as an expediter does that well enough.

Been occasionally having the pity party for myself due to being single but mainly because I just have no social life in general.    12 hour shifts suck.  3-2-2 schedules on 12 hour shifts suck.  Working with a bunch of folks that I can’t really become friends with sucks.  Working with 95% men sucks.  Only because they can’t really relate and I can’t really relate and the folks that are my age have a thousand kids or are married and nobody is available to just get together and just go see a movie or go shoot some pool or do whatever.  I don't want to talk about their kids.  I don’t want to talk about their exes.  I don’t want to talk about my cats.  I just want to get together, forget about work, and shoot the shit, while having a good time.  Rant, rant, rant. 

Okay, new topic.  Ever look at a really ugly person who is dating someone and think: how did they find someone to date them?  I mean, I know I've got my flaws but damn!  Is my personality that bad that nobody would want to be around me?  That it wouldn't compensate for whatever conventional beauty I don’t have?  You know...someone may not be gorgeous but you don’t notice because they’re super funny or super nice or whatever.  I mean, I’m totally human.  I have my flaws.  I’m not gorgeous but I’m not such a epic monster of a personality that nobody would want to date me.  Maybe it’s the work schedule.  Damn, I need to retire!  I need a regular schedule.  I need to not have rules about who I can and cannot date.  If I want to date, get nekid with the 25 year old down the way, why not?  18 more months.  They board for E-7 now.  I’m not making it.  My career has been too all over the place to make Master.  I think I can look forward to just retiring in 18 months.  I don’t think I’ll really have to make that big decision of “Do I stay or do I go?”  18 more months.

Time for another glass or Riesling.  Peace out, all.

Vacation--June 5th, 2013

I succeeded in jogging the full length down to the south end—that street is Fredricksburg.  It turns out that’s the city line between Ventnor and Margate.  I’ll have to look to see just how far that is.  I walked, jogged, and did calisthenics on the way back.  I did pushups, lunges, side squats, mountain climbers, and some step-ups.  It felt good; taxing but good; all that after having a cheddar and broccoli omelet--a very good start to the day.

After that, I showered up and walked south down Atlantic.  That’s where I discovered the city boundary.  I kept walking south through Margate--all the way to Lucy the Elephant.  I bought Mom a t-shirt and a hat for me.  I meandered across the small parking lot to the Rooftop Bar at Ventura’s Greenhouse.  The food was really good.  I had a shrimp salad and a mudslide.  The only downside was after I got cash from the ATM—the menu said Cash Only—the server told me that they accept credit cards.  This was frustrating because there was a $3.50 surcharge for the ATM.

There was another success today—no sunburn despite the jog this morning or the walk this afternoon.  Winning!  Time to watch the CMAs on TV.