Internal Conflict Due To Personal Integrity

What happens when you do something that goes against your personal integrity?  When you’re filled with internal conflict?  You make adjustments.  I’m opting to post this on my personal blog rather than my “professional” one because I feel it fits more here than there even though the subject matter very much has to do with what my “professional” blog is all about—finding the perfect fit for everyone.  The conflict lays in the fact that I WANT to do just that: find my customers the perfect fitting bra.  But how much do I have to compromise in order to do that while also selling the products that are available at Victoria’s Secret?

Most folks know that VS bras don’t fit everyone.  Anyone with a band size over 42 can tell you that.  Or a cup size over DDD/F.  The difficulty lays in giving the customers their perfect fitting and then having to sister size them into a VS bra even though it may not be one that really, truly fits.  I also have to keep in mind that, really, not everyone wants a bra that absolutely fits perfect; one that meets every facet of fit: projection, band size, cup size, fabric, tactile feel.  Some folks just want one that fits pretty darn good.  THOSE are the customers that I will focus on.  THEY are VS’s customers; along with the ones who DO get a perfect fit in a VS bra.

The flip side: sister sizing a 28 band into a 32 may not always work but I’ll do my best.  Same with those customers who are a G cup: if we’ve got their sister size band for an DDD/F cup, I’ll have them try it.  They just may be satisfied with it.  Not everyone is as picky as me.  I’m on a quest for a perfect fit, even if it means ordering 136 bras and sending back 135.

For More of My Bra Related Posts (and to Follow My Fit Journey)...

I've created a new blog just for that.  Please bear with me as I populate it and bring it up to speed.  Here's the link: http://ifthebrafitswearit.blogspot.com/
This way you can choose to just follow the bra stuff or check out what's going on with me on the personal level.  They won't be combined any more.

Bra Fit Follow-Up

Even though my previous entry may seem like I’m sending the message that I’m an expert, I’m not.  I’m very new to this portion of the journey of finding what fits.  I’m hoping to bring folks along with me on this journey and help them find what fits as well.  Maybe they don’t have the resources to acquire a whole slew of garments to try on all at once and maybe they don’t have the time to try on just one at a time.  What I’m trying to say is: I know that there are a lot of folks who can’t plop down the initial investment to get a wide selection of bras to try on all at once and they don’t have the time to order only one item, try it on, find out it doesn’t fit, send it back in exchange for another size or style that will probably, also, not fit.  I want to help those folks.  The first go-round will be easy because I already have two collections of sizes on hand—36FF/36H, from what I ordered to try on and 28E, from what was acquired for another person to try on—in quantities of more than 20 different styles.  I’m extending an opportunity for those who are neighbors to me to try on any of the ones that are on hand before I send them back.

In some cases, it may appear that I’m competing with my place of employment but that won’t be the case.  I can’t compete with a company if I’m not offering anything that can be found at their store.  That being said, I wouldn’t be offering bra fit events for those who can shop within the “bra matrix”—that range of sizes that most every bricks and mortar store carries and/or has on hand.  I’m talking about the 34Bs and the 36Cs and the 38Ds—those are the ones that I WON’T be doing these for.  The ones that I WILL—the 32FFs and the 36Is and the 40As and the like—are the ones that you can find only online.  It will take some time and it won’t be something that will happen all that quickly because there’s only so much that I can acquire at a time and there are a ton of underserved and unsupported (pun intended) sizes out there.  How many?  Just check out the range of sizes that are carried at

• Bare Necessities (with band sizes 28-56) (http://www.barenecessities.com/sitemapbybrasize.aspx)
• Fig Leaves
• AA-D (with band sizes 28-54)  http://www.figleaves.com/us/aa-d/bras/24942/?link=bras_lhn_aa-d;
• DD-G (with band sizes 28-54) http://www.figleaves.com/us/ranges/dd/bras/20539/21410/?link=bras_lhn_dd;
• GG and up (with band sizes 28- 48) http://www.figleaves.com/us/ranges/gg/bras/20546/21420/?link=bras_lhn_gg)
• HerRoom (with band sizes 28-58)  (http://www.herroom.com/bras.aspx)
• Amazon (with band sizes 28-58) (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_14333511_ex_n_16?rh=n%3A7141123011%2Cn%3A7147440011%2Cn%3A1040660%2Cn%3A9522931011%2Cn%3A14333511%2Cn%3A1044960&bbn=14333511&ie=UTF8&qid=1433663887)

 I intend to start with the most common band size, whatever that may be (and to be determined by a poll on an easily accessed page), and get started that way.  I won’t be offended if folks try on at my place and then opt to purchase elsewhere.  I’m not a business.  I’m not looking to make any profit.  I’m aiming to help folks find their fit.  If they choose to take a product off my hands by reimbursing me for its cost (and therefore saving me the effort that it will take to return it, even better), they can do that too.  Because, seriously, the less that I have to return, the better.  J

I will keep you posted on my own fit journey.  I posted the link to the previous entry to the reddit page that I referenced in said entry and received some excellent feedback on the fit of my new calculated size.  It’s a work in progress and I’m just glad that I was able to find anything that I even liked on the first round of try-ons.

I’d love to read any comments that you have for this or any other blog entry that I’ve made.  Please don’t hesitate to leave ‘em.

Photo by Stacy Hart of Stacy Hart Photography-- www.stacyhart.com 

How to Ensure a Bra Fits (Revised (and NSFW))

Last week I got an urge to research the history of Victoria’s Secret and the multitude of scents that the company has put out over the past few decades.  I came across some really great information.  I even created a new Pinterest board for all the articles that I was coming across:  https://www.pinterest.com/nidena/well-informed-is-well-armed  (Want to see a listing of all the perfumes?  Go here: http://victoriassecretfragrances.blogspot.com/p/list-of-fragrances.html)

But it was what I found when I was searching for bra fit and tips that I really came across a wealth of information that had absolutely nothing to do with Victoria’s Secret except that our fit measuring procedures are…well…incomplete, at best; totally wrong, at worst, which is how it is when there is such high turnover in the company.  Said turnover is even higher now but that is a whole other blog post that I’ve yet to write. 

While looking up bra fitting, I found a whole discussion board for that very thing.  You can find it here: http://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits and read to your heart’s content.  I will try to summarize the key aspects to finding a correct fit and link you to a few places that were instrumental in my learnings thus far.

Let me just tell you that finding this information, and realizing that what I’ve been teaching my customers about fit, made me have an emotional experience much like I did when I discovered that I was not wrong regarding my misgivings about being a Mary Kay consultant.  (Read that story here: http://www.pinktruth.com/board/index.php/topic,361.0.html)   

Like back then, I knew something was missing.  I’ve known for some time that I wasn’t providing all that I could to my customers.  I’ve had to refer so many to online retailers but I knew that they would just be guessing at their size because the information that I was giving them really did feel incomplete.  I want my customers to feel empowered; to come to me having an idea of what they’re looking for; and, if that isn’t the case, to walk away with the knowledge that they needed so that they could shop online with confidence.

It’s in this blog post that I hope that I can do that.

The first step was getting the measurements and inputting them into the online calculator.  Now, mind you, I’ve sized myself in the DD and DDD range for YEARS.  Sometimes a 34 band, sometimes a 36.  The only thing that I had correct was the 36.  See, VS bras have really stretchy bands.  That’s why it’s easy to think that a 36 is quite roomy.  It’s really not all that stretchy in a bra that fits correctly but I digress, sort of.  The calculator called for FIVE measurements.  If you’ve ever read the “bra fit” post of mine (http://nidena.blogspot.com/2008/10/to-ensure-bra-fits.html), you’ll know that VS measures three locations MAX.  All these years…incomplete information.  To really get your correct calculated measurement, you need to take a measurement in all five places (maybe positions is a better word).

Do you have your tape measure?

I’ll wait.  :D
Okay, now you gotta free the girls to take the measurements.  That's right!  Take off the boulder holder and let them feel the breeze.

1. Snug underbust
2. Tight underbust (The underbust is just what it sounds like: right under your boobs, in the “crease”)

Okay, stand up now.

3. Standing overbust (wrap that tape gently around your torso and across your nipples.  I know…it’s cold…and a little sensitive…but endure it)

Got that?  Now bend over.  Let them puppies dangle for all they’re worth.

4. Leaning overbust (and you thought standing overbust was difficult lol)  I totally understand if you need help with this one.  Some ladies just have a lot of boob and might need to phone a friend.

Are you tired?  That’s okay ‘cause now you get to lay down.  Yep, the next measurement is flat on your back.  Well, unless you have a butt that doesn’t let you lay flat.  Lol

5. Laying overbust (don’t fret if this is smaller than the other two.  Mine was too)

Now…and I really hope you remembered to write all those down otherwise you’ll have to do them again…go plug those numbers in here: http://www.brasizecalculator.tk/

I hope you didn’t pass out when you saw your new calculated size.
I was Wow’d also.  

Are you overwhelmed?  Take a breather.  Then come back for just a few more things.

Once you get over the “sticker shock” of your new size, you’ll want to learn about:

--Projection—Shallow vs Projected breasts (Unfortunately, I don’t know enough about this to be able explain it so I will suggest checking out this page: http://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/shallow and the links on it)

--Fullness—on both the top and bottom  (A great guide can be found here: http://i.imgur.com/VPH5K0E.png  think of the spot where the red and blue lines meet as the spot where your nipple sits)

I have to also say that www.venusianglow.com is a great resource for this information.  Just click on *Bra Matrix* on that site and you’ll encounter a whole other world of stuff about boobs and bra fittings.

Now, I know you’re probably thinking: “But my bra fits just fine.  Why do I need all this information?”  I thought the same thing.  After all, I have nine years experience of bra fitting from working at Victoria’s Secret.  If I was a pilot, I could wear one of those patches that have cumulative hours on it.  Mine would be, easily, 500+ hours.  I mean, doesn’t it look like my bra fits?  Except maybe that little bit of pudge under my armpit but everyone has that, right? 

Wrong!

My life was changed when I read three little words and employed the action that which they describe: SWOOP AND SCOOP.
While wearing the bra, you reach in and pull that flesh that we've always thought was "pudge" forward so that it's back where it's supposed to be.  Why?  Because that "pudge" is breast tissue that has been exiled from the ill-fitting bras that we've worn all these years.  That's right!  Reclaim that additional breast tissue with pride.

Here’s the same bra with breasts swooped and scooped:

Doesn’t fit so well after all.  Note the "muffin top" above the cups.  When I realized that, I sought out that bra calculator (here it is again so that you don’t have to scroll up to the top: http://www.brasizecalculator.tk/ ), took all my measurements and plugged them in.  I about had a heart attack when I saw the new measurement.  36FF?  That can’t be right.  And that’s not even a U.S. size.  36H?  What the heck!!!  I had to test this theory.  There’s no way that a 36FF/36H is going to fit me.  It’ll be too big.  I couldn’t be more incorrect.  Here’s a correctly fitting 36FF/36H:

Now, maybe you're wanting to rebutt with: "But that's a full coverage bra!"  It is; however, the demi bras fit just as well.  Unfortunately, they were a little too sheer/lacy for me to feel comfortable putting pictures of them on my blog.  I hope you can understand that.

My life will be forever changed.  Unfortunately, unless I lose a whole lot of breast, I won’t be buying bras at my place of employment any longer.  I prefer bras that fit over ones that are readily accessible. 

I plan to help a few folks local to me find both.  See my next post for how I plan to do that but FIRST go get your new calculated size.  You're gonna need it.

I've Been Incomplete When Doing Bra Fittings.

For the past nine years, I've been doing my bra fittings very much like what is described in this post: To Ensure A Bra Fits and, come to find out (due to the recent discovery of recent of new information), I've been incomplete and fairly inaccurate in my tallies.  How incomplete?  Well, I had sized myself at a 36DDD before I lost 20lbs and, since then, at a 34DDD/36DD..  I was a bit wrong.  Three cups wrong.  I'm actually a 36H.  I will share the the information that I found, as well as a link to how I calculated my size in a post later this week.  In it, I will also share the size that I thought I was by showing you (unknowingly) ill fitting bras that I have bought in the past few months at VS and the bras that I just tried on last night in the size that actually fits correctly.
I'm headed to sleep now but please check back later this week for that next post.  It'll be lengthy and informative.

Shopping online for clothes...ugh!!

I mentioned that I've had to go to Fit Camp every day M-F...well, it's working just not in the areas that I'd like to actually see results. My previous sports bras were 36DD and 36DDD depending upon which one I grabbed for the day. Well, they've gotten a little loose in the band size. I hook it at the smallest fit and it's still a little too "jiggley" so I went to my favorite site bareneccessities.com and picked out four new sports bras--two styles and two sizes from each. One fit. I expected this but it's still frustrating. Now, I need to fill out the exchange form and send back the other three and hope that they still have more in the one that fits. Grrrr!!!!

To ensure a bra fits...

Basic measurements are (while wearing a decent fitting bra):
Around the top of the chest/under armpits
Around the fullest part of the breast (where the nipples are)
And then around the rib cage just under the breast.
Make sure your tape measure is not on any breast tissue with the bottom measurement. I've had a lot of customers come in and tell me that they were last measured at XX when, in fact, I just measured them at XX-3 because the last person to measure them didn't make sure that breast tissue and/or bra underwires weren't included in the measurement. I've even gone so far to ask women to please lift their breasts up so that I could ensure I wasn't measuring the bottom of their breast tissue. (Once the tape measure was in place, I had them let go)
Your band size will fall between the measurement under the armpits and the one around the ribcage. I can't give you an exact # because the rest of your structure will dictate which it is but it does give you a ball park figure.
For example, if I measure a customer at 38" under her armpits; 40" around her fullest part; and 36" around her ribcage, I will suggest a 38B and a 36D as places to start. You won't know what fits until the bra is on. From then, change only the size to find the correct one in that bra. Don't change bra and size unless it's super obvious that both are not suited.
If all your bras have padding in them, and that's what you're wearing when you measure, subtract a 1/2" or so or just measure a little snugger...not tight, but snug.
With fit, you want to ensure there are only two breasts. You don't want two hanging out the center and you don't want two squishing into your armpits. If you have this problem, try a larger cup.
If your breasts are falling out the bottom of the bra, the band is too big/stretched out.
If the band keeps hiking up in back, go down a band size but get the comparable cup size. It will be the same cup coverage but snugger in the band.
You want the center gore (the part between the cups) to be flat/flush against your skin. You should not be able to put you keys in this space--it's not a pocket. If the center gore isn't flat, go up a cup and down a band--see below for conversion.
Don't be afraid of letters beyond DD. It is what it is. Wouldn't you rather have a bra that fits rather than a specific size. Though, I did encounter a customer who refused to believe she was a 36DDD and only because she had to have a VS bra.
Bra math:
32C=34B or 30D
34D=36C or 32DD
36DD=38D or 34DDD
38DDD=40DD or 36DDDD
D=D (4" difference between band size and cup size)
DD=E (5")
DDD=EE=F (6")
DDDD=EEE=FF=G (7")
One last tidbit...we all have mismatched breasts...some as much as a cup difference. Fit the larger cup. You can always add to the smaller one. You can't make the larger one smaller with a bra.
Can't find your size in stores, try figleaves.com, barenecessities.com, or herroom.com. They all have beautiful bras in a huge range of sizes...all the way from 28A to 52J.